Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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