I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
sex in a hospital.. check
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize