Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
