Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
