I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
