It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The struggles of a small town man whore
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
