And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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