DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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