Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
