i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
