Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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