i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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