forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
