There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
