And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
