she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the day after is always just damage control
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize