Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
