Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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