We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
