Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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