Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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