So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
