Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
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Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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