i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
