I didn't shave. On purpose
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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