I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
