one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you never un-have a 4some
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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