It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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