You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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