Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
