Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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