Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
