from now on my penis is your penis
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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