You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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