Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
