Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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