6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
