i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize