i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
