Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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