im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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