I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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