I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
