i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
