Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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