I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we're making bets on your personal life
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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