i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
