Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
