I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
