problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
