Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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