The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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