I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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