Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
