You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
