He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
