Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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