Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
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literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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