why didn't you poke me back
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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