How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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